hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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