I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
