I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
