He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Let's get the cat blown out
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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