At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
