apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
