Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
