Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
