Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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