I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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