somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.