i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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