bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
