we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
