dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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