This girl is more easily done than said...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
