Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
