like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
