Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize