You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize