I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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