Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
