Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
