I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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