I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize