also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
