Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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