It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
