Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
