Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
