I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
