Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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