I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
