Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
