she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
