what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Randomize
