Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
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Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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