It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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