theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Panties = found
Randomize
