You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
