And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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