why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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