my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
