Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
