She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
