so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I want to fling myself into the sun
This toilet bowl is my home.
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