I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You may now shotgun with the bride
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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