Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize