It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
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It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
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I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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