Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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