i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
