i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
