Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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