Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
