if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
