this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
