Ambien. No doubt about it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She bit a glass in half.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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