You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
