Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
