do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
