You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
