The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
