Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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